What we could have done better

Suicide Hurts Everyone

  • Always, Take it very seriously, when suicide is mentioned, even if it is said, while one is intoxicated.  Often, that is when the true thoughts are expressed.  That is also, when Chris was able to complete his suicide, while he was severely intoxicated,Chris owned his own hunting rifle, as he was a hunter, and enjoyed hunting with his family, when he was diagnosed with schizophrena we failed to plead with him to remove his gun from his home for his safety. We never believed that Chris would take his own life. Chris never told us that when he was sober,only when he was intoxicated. But he told his friends. That was a fatal mistake on our part. That is how he completed his suicide.

  • Ask their friends, how they are doing. Often, they know before the parents.  Don't, wonder if they are thinking about it. ASK OPENLY!  It will not, make them more prone to think about it, or to do it.  Talk about it!  When they are suicidal, they should not be left alone for an extended period of time, until they are not suicidal any longer.   When you have knowledge that they are suicidal, a true friend encourages them to contact a suicide prevention program to get help, and let them know that it would be devastating to those who love him, and that it is not the solution. If you are not family, contact their family.

  • IF THEY WILL NOT GET HELP ON THEIR OWN, THEN PROFESSIONAL HELP MUST BE CONTACTED AND AN INTERVENTION MUST BE DONE, TO PROTECT THEM FROM THEMSELF!!  Even as family, acknowledge that it is more than you can handle.

  • Contact GOOD professional help early. Don't make the mistake, of thinking this could never happen to us. It can. As parents, we teach our children to make good decisions. However, if they make bad choices, help them find their way back. God forgives, if you ask and encourage them to also forgive themselves.

  •  People who let Chris down....  Chris'  Psychiatrist failed him. Chris had called him for a change in his anti-psychotic medication. He was having severe side effects of fatigue with the drug, Zyprexa, and felt very sedated. His Dr. would not change it, giving him no hope. He also failed to detect that Chris was suicidal, and failed to diagnose his depression.

  • Chris' youth pastor could have done better, Chris had left phone messages for him, but they never got togetherAnd of course, as Chris' parents, could have done better. We will always feel if we would have been more knowledgeable about his mental illness, we could have done things differently. Chris mentioned suicide twice while he was intoxicated. We failed to see that he could carry it out while he was intoxicated. But he did. We didn't protect Chris from himself. We also feel that it is also true that a parent or person could have done all the right things and still, our loved one completed suicide.
  • Please..... in those cases know that you did all you could do. 

  • Some of Chris's friends could have done better. They knew he had suicidal tendencies, but did not take him seriously as was the same as us.

  • BE A FRIEND, "TELL A SECRET, SAVE A FRIEND!"
  • DANGEROUS FRIENDS AND DRUG ABUSE SOME CHOICES CHRIS MADE & AND SOME HE DIDN'T MAKE. 

Chris, and most all of his friends, smart college kids too, I might add, abused alcohol and illegal substances: marijuana, cocaine, LSD, mushrooms, and worst of all, in my opinion, ECSTASY. The National Institute of Mental Health has done research involving the connection between Ecstasy and Schizophrenia. For unknown reasons some people seem more predisposed to Schizophrenia who have abused some illegal substances like Ecstasy. While it is true that Chris made these choices, often young adults experiencing early symptoms of Schizophrenia will abuse substances because of the troubling symptoms that are beginning to surface.  That is possibly why Chris began to abuse drugs, starting at around sixteen years old.  We do know, after he began to have outward symptoms, he would "self-medicate", especially with alcohol, to be able to cope with the symptoms of Schizophrenia.  Chris suffered from, what is called "night terror dreams" ever since he was very young.  We don't know why.  He also became delusional toward the end, when he was suffering from Schizophrenia the worst.  At times he could not distinguish between what was real and what was not.  He was also hearing voices.  The greatest regret is that we failed to ask him what the voices were telling him. !!!  Ask what the voices are saying, so you know what they are dealing with.

  • Lastly....
Educate yourselves and your children with the facts and dangers of experimentation with illegal drugs.  We will never know for sure if that is what caused Chris' Schizophrenia.
Tell me, WHY WOULD ANYONE TAKE A CHANCE LIKE THAT, AND ABUSE ILLEGAL DRUGS!!!   MAYBE THAT IS WHY THEY ARE ILLEGAL!!!  THINK ABOUT IT!!!  TALK ABOUT IT!!!